Bodies, Transformation, and Empowerment: The Wisdom of Wahinetanga: Celebrating Our Changes

How do we perceive our bodies? As I trace the silvery stretch marks from childbirth that map my skin, I reflect on years of carrying shame about these marks of motherhood. These scars are like maps of our life upon our skin, just as whakapapa maps our genealogy through time.

These thoughts prompt deeper questions:

• Why, as mothers, do we feel compelled to hide these sacred markers of creation?

• What drives this internalized shame?

Becoming a mother at a young age, I hadn't fully grasped the deep emotional connections we form with our bodies. Motherhood transforms us in indescribable ways, yet some wahine may never have this experience. However, this does not diminish their strength and resilience.

The female journey is marked by profound physical and spiritual transformations - from the first blossoming of menstruation into womanhood, through the powerful act of childbirth, and ultimately to the wisdom-bearing transition of menopause. These metamorphoses, though sometimes mysterious and challenging, are the very essence of our becoming. Our bodies change in ways we may not fully comprehend, yet each transformation adds another layer to our complex identities.

As wahine, how do we show up for each other during these transformations? Sometimes I find myself wishing I had daughters to share these thoughts and feelings with, but then I remember - I have sons who will one day become fathers and partners themselves. How will they show up in those roles? What lessons about honoring women's journeys can I impart to them now?

Supporting each other through these transformations begins with sharing our stories - our struggles with body image, our experiences of menstruation, childbirth, perimenopause, and menopause. As I approach the phase when my body will cease menstruating, I find myself in a complex emotional space. Though I don't want more children, I recognize there will be a mourning period for this aspect of my womanhood. Will I be equipped - mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually - for this transition? Through conversations with my mother and sister about their symptoms and coping strategies, I'm learning that this journey, like all others, is best navigated together.

Recently, a wahine client asked me how to transform these changes into sources of power. While I'm no expert - these are simply my personal reflections - I believe we can view each transition as stepping into a new phase of deep beauty and inner strength. We become beacons of wisdom that younger wahine can look to for guidance and inspiration. By this stage in our lives, we carry rich lived experiences that give us both strength and knowledge.

If you are in a space where you have an impact on wāhine of any age question becomes:

• How do we guide our younger wāhine to embrace their bodies, their menstrual cycles, their own skin, and the beauty that goes deeper than physicality?

• What words do we choose when speaking to wāhine about their own journeys of transformation?

  
  

Perhaps it begins with modeling self-acceptance and speaking openly about our own experiences - both the challenges and the triumphs.

When we share stories of our first periods, our changing bodies, and our evolving relationship with ourselves, we create safe spaces for younger wāhine to voice their own fears and celebrations. By acknowledging both the difficulties and the sacred nature of these transitions, we validate their experiences while offering hope and wisdom.

The language we use matters profoundly. Instead of focusing on appearance or conformity to societal standards, we can speak of strength, capability, and the wisdom inherent in our bodies.

We can teach them and each other to listen to their bodies' rhythms and honor their natural cycles. When they witness us treating our own bodies with reverence - stretch marks, wrinkles, and all - we show them a path to self-acceptance that no amount of verbal instruction could achieve.

I wish I had engaged in deeper understandings and conversations about what it means to be and become a woman when I was younger, but perhaps that's simply part of my growth. We've all likely had discussions or given advice that may not hold true today, but growth is a part of life.